Michelle is 3 months old!

Finally, the little terror is 3 months old yesterday! She celebrated it by.... going to the doctor! Not very fun.. she had to get another jab yesterday. Oh well, I guess she'll get a jab whenever she turns a month older until she's a year old.

Anyway, looking back at the past 3 months....

The first month after delivery was really hard for me. The hormones were driving me crazy as I sometimes just felt upset or angry at myself, other people, or just at the situation that I was in (a lot of pain, stressed out, no milk, etc). Even when other people tells me that things would get better, I didn't really believe them. But things really got better! :)

In the beginning, I really felt like going back to work and just leave the baby at home with my mother (since I sucked so much in mothering...) but now that my maternity leave is going to end in less than 1 month, I think I'm going to miss her a lot when I'm at work. But I'm also looking forward to working again, to use my brain again, and to have more adult interaction.

And mothering is really a learning process. I thought I would manage well since the beginning since I read soooo many books about pregnancy, birth, and childcare. I assumed that everything will go smoothly as planned. I went through pregnancy in a breeze. I think I had one of the easiest pregnancy compared to my friends. Birth definitely didn't go as planned because I ended up needing an emergency c-section because of fetal distress. For childcare, I never imagined that milk will never come, I didn't even research on which formula milk to give to my baby before my hospital stay! My husband had to go and try out all the formula milk before we decided on one. I guess my point is we have to be flexible, or we'll end up stressing ourselves. Having my mother around also helped a lot. Firstly, she took care of the baby more than me in the first few weeks. She also encouraged me to go out, that made me feel normal again. Even just a 5 minutes stroll outside the house made me feel really good, so imagine the effect of going shopping the whole day! :D

Baby progress...

1. She was born with quite strong neck, but now it's even stronger that she sometimes "jump" out of my lap.
2. She sleeps throughout the night (since birth.. lucky me!)
3. She can smile and "talk" now. At one point she even said "mama" and "mommy"! But I'm sure it's a coincident and she wasn't referring to me.
4. She has outgrown majority of her clothes! SHOPPING TIME!
5. She can now put her hands into her mouth successfully, instead of using them to poke her own eyes.
6. She can now throw her temper by screaming when she doesn't want to drink her milk or when she's carried in a position that she doesn't like... (poor me?)
7. She can turn from her back to her tummy now, but then she'll scream for help after a while because she can't turn back.

Uncle Victor in Training

His first attempt was unrecorded, the baby cried immediately after he carried her. This is his 2nd attempt, much better... =)

Visitors and other stuff

Recently we have a lot of visitors because there's a new baby at home. The other day, Eunice and Tong Fu came to visit us and today my ex-colleague, Joon and his wife, Chihiro, came to visit as well. My Bible study conductor and her friend came to visit today as well.

I like having people over at my house but recently I find it so hard to get ready before lunch time! Well, when I woke up, it's usually about 10 AM already and after doing a little bit of breakfast and lazing around, it's already lunch time! Before baby, even during pregnancy, I never expect life to be this busy. Time seems to fly really fast but I seem to accomplish nothing during that period of time. Sometimes I wonder whether life will ever be the same again.. Don't get me wrong, I love my new baby very much, but somehow I can't help feeling that I'm no longer me, but now I'm just someone's mother... feel a bit like identity crisis..

Anyway, today my mom dressed Michelle in the outfit that was sent by Siyong.. check her photo below. My hubby likes the 3/4 pants, he said it's very cute =)




After 2 weeks of post-natal depression, I finally find it easier to relax now. I guess it happened after I accept the fact that my milk supply will not be able to meet baby's demand (she's really a big eater!). Instead of keep on pushing myself, now I tell myself that it's ok to just do my best and not everyone is successful at breastfeeding. My husband said that if everyone is successful at breastfeeding, milk companies will not be as rich as they are now. And I'm also grateful that my gynae always give encouraging and no-nonsense advice. She actually told me to just be comfortable with whatever decision I made and not to listen to unsolicited advices from well-meaning people. I think I'm idolizing her a little bit too much, but I can't help to think that she's so cool.. ha ha..

Before that, I was feeling like why did I have baby in the first place when I'm such a crap mother... wasn't able to give birth naturally... wasn't able to provide milk... I should just stick to my normal job, at least I do reasonably well.. (I still check my office emails... can't help it... I miss my work...), but for now I take one day at a time and things can only get better from here =)

Sneeze baby sneeze!

After suntanning..

Hee hee...

It was after bath time and she was behaving ever so sweetly and then suddenly.....

I swear I didn't teach her this! :p

Michelle Kaylie Chien Yaxuan

Our baby girl, Michelle Kaylie Chien Yaxuan, is finally here.

She was delivered via emergency c-section after bullying mommy in labor for 12 hours. (actually mommy got a little *A LOT* help from the nice doctor who gave her epidural)

B-Day!

Finally, the day has arrived!

I'm going to be a mother tomorrow..... so weird... excited... scared... happy.. :)